A Revelation

So for a very long time I kept asking myself a weird question that I couldn't answer. What's the point of Russian roulette? Was it to die, or to live? What was winning and what was losing? Then it hit me, it was all up to the player whether death or life was winning or losing. The same could be said about life really. It's up to each one of us individually to decide whether the point of life is living or dieing. We are free to chose to win or lose every day. So some may think the point of being born is to die while others believe it is to live. biologically speaking the point of life is to replicate one's DNA but i fail to believe that the ultimate goal in life is to fuck 24/7. What do you think your life means?

What is Tornado?

Okay, this is oldish, like, about June 1st.
This doesn't make much sense -_-
So I apologize for that, but some people "lol" at this, and I respect those people. You all rule :)

Recently I've realized I'm a big flaming Pansy. The fuck am I afraid of tornades for? They don't even kill people last I checked (5 people so FAR) . Plus they make awesome dreams. Like, seriously, columns of a God's will? How awesome is that? Plus , I noticed that most people's experience with these things comes from not being in Kansas anymore and something about a dog named Toto and his owners wish to go home. Yes, The Wizard of Oz. That movie did nothing in the lines of teaching me how to PROPERLY handle one of them tornadoes. First there's the fact that most people living in a city live in a building. Not a house. I felt cheated when my building was smashed and not lifted and taken for a ride in some garbage truck. Also, how the hell did a tornado throw her to a perfectly stable world? After the storm, I remember complete choas ravaging the streets of Springfield, Massachusetts. I also stood in one place so, yeah, never mind. Long story short, if you're in a tornados, BRING FOOD AND ENTERTAINMENT. Also, if you're single, people are very vulnerable after, use that. Also make sure you don't get stalked by a glitter friendly 'homire' (homosexual vampire) on your walk around town.

Anthony, you good?

I've never felt so close and distant from the people I once called friends as I do this afternoon, on 10 July, 2011. I'm literally closer to them than I have been in five years, and I'm also too impossibly far for them to see me or for me to say hi to them. When I say "friends," I am of course speaking of the friends I left behind in Florida. I day dream from time to time as I live life on this island about how they would react if I just pulled up to their house and yelled "Hey Wes! Come on out!" I laugh silently to myself. If I could do that, I would. But they are only day dreams, not real. So it saddens me when the thought leaves me mind because it'd be nice to see them again. Time changes everything, and I like to think that maybe, just maybe, they think of me from time to time as well. How I've changed. I wonder how they have. I see people pass by everyday, surface encounters, and I pull more distant from society with each one. These are fake. I am real. But those, experiences, they're fake. It really bothers and upsets me. I don't understand why. They don't effect me directly yet I am forced to directly participate in said events. Blah blah blah, this must come off as boring, so I'll upload another article to make you laugh after this.

Resident Evil Logic

Resident Evil is one of my favourite video game series. It's a total and complete package, with characters spanning between games in all genres (for an odd example, Snowboarding, that's a weird place to put Leon Scott Kennedy, but hey, who am I to judge? It worked, didn't it?). But as far as the main game story line goes, Resident Evil 1-5 (as of Tue 5 July 2011), only Resident Evil (RE1) made any sense! Well, that's not saying much because even RE1 made barely any sense at all. So with this, I introduce to our very few readers, a discussion of sorts, and an experiment, testing the minds of anyone who has gotten this far, on the Resident Evil series. I personally plan to cover the five games in the main story line as well as some of the spin offs (like Resident Evil Outbreak with File #2 and Gaiden). My plan is to write an article for each, and then to have Charles do the same, so we can exploit as many flaws as possible.

And remember, in Resident Evil, it's not what can help you most that you take with you on a journey, it's what you find the most useless.

"You step into a room and lined on the walls are countless firearms, grenades, explosives, and random stuff that is 'super effective against living things' to kill enemies with. You see a small desk in the corner. You approach said desk and open the drawer. Upon peering inside you see planty of ammo for the Revolver, Handgun, and Shotgun you carry with you now. You push all the ammo aside and find a slighty bent tooth pick. Picking it up you dumbly cry out 'A tooth pick! This will be very useful!' and proceed to put it in your pocket. Your business here being finished, you leave the room and all it's contents behind and break the door knob for good measure. There is no point in being tempted to enter that useless room again!"

The Great Cultural Divide

So what games are worse, Japanese exclusive or American exclusive? The sad reality might be that Japan's failures are worse than ours. The main reason why Japanese games would be not wanted or not allowed into America would have to be because of their sexual content. Not just dick in pussy sexual content but weird shit like hentai, tentacle rape, and lolicon. A perfect example of this would have to the game Rapelay in which you rape a mother and her daughter in various locations like a subway station and their house. When this hit American shores it immediately caught the attention of the ESRB and was summarily banned and deported. This caught the attention of the American news stations and was all over the internet and was a large controversial topic. Although people can still download the game online and play it, if only a few people play the game or even know where to get it then in my book it's a complete failure. Now there are countless other games that involve tentacles raping anime characters or fighting games where the loser is raped (Battle Raper) but we'll never get a chance to even try these games because there is no great demand and the ESRB would never let those games be sold at your local game stop. It's a shame but maybe it's for the best as even in Japan these games are only purchased and played by a very select few pockets of gamers which makes profit an improbability for the developers, which in turn creates an infinate loop of poverty making the games of a general low quality. Meaning it all comes down to mass appeal and finance. Some games like Custom Robo 2 and Metal Slug 7 never made it to America because of unpopularity in Japan even though they don't have raping or tentacles. Custom Robo was a favorite of mine back in 2004 for the GameCube even though it and it's sequal were released in Japan for the N64 in 1999 and 2000. so next time you see a weird Japanese game in America be thankful and give it a try, there are a lot of good games trying their hardest to become international and trust that the ESRB will slam the ban hammer on any wacky Japanese sex games and trust that it's for the best (and btw the creepy Japanese game shown ids called Muscle March for the Nintendo DS).

Druid logic.

The earth beneath my feet is where I'm most comfortable. No footwear, a plain sheet covering my body, and a beard with long hair sprawling all over my head in every direction. At least, that's how simple I sometimes wish life would be. To just feel the grass as it weaves in and out between your toes, the wind caressing your face gently, the sun lighting your world, calming you so you can just sit down and relax. To live the life of a Druid, for a short time a least. Wouldn't that be just wonderful? It would be really messy though, you'd have twigs in your hair, you'd reak of dirt, sweat, and wild animal. Your teeth would probably be a mess, you'd be grossly thin, refusing to consume anything from nature that doesn't speak out and ask you to consume it, and, to be frank, you'd look totally insane. Could you imagine fighting a hobo looking like Jesus Christ calling upon the trees to entangle you in vines so he can turn into a bear and maul you? Maybe, but it'd be damn hard to picture! What kind of world do you think this is? And if you're one of those losers who thinks "Night Elf Druid chicks are so sexy in World of Warcraft" I got a few points I'd like to inform you of. First, what the hell is your problem? You really that big of a loser that you think a pixelated computer generated character model is attractive? It's a fucking game. Second, that game does not depict how real life affects a traveler. As a former WoW junkie I can say this much: How the fuck did I just go through an instance and get stabbed roughly 500 times and my white silk shirt is STILL in pristine condition. A real NELF Druid would NOT be hot by the time she got to you. And finally, I'd like to point out that a Druid is one with nature. That must mean you're part of nature, right? But that's not really the issue here. How can you turn into a bear, a cheetah or panther, or a bird? Or anything like that!? Where does the mass come from? How do you get rid of it to fly? How can your bones hollow out like that? And most importantly, where do your clothes end up? If you ask me, all these Druids would be in jail before dinging to level eleven. Dire Bear form is equal to public indecency and prison time, you sex offender!

In short, Druids are like Rotary Engines,
Those worked in theory as well.

Persepolis. Great.

So class of 2011, I have a question for all of you. What is your summer reading requirement? Is it all print? Oh that's cool. I got Persepolis. That's right, a COMIC BOOK. What kind of broken college am I attending? Not only isn't it wildly ridiculed for not being Umass Amherst, but even our reading material seems to be a joke. "Haha, you idiots get to read comics." At least that's how I felt at first. Soon, however, I got to thinking. This isn't some curse or bad omen. This is a gift. Something different. While everyone else is stuck, bored, reading books they have no care about, I was sitting in car (my favourite place to read) reading Persepolis, a amazingly entertaining comic about a young girls struggle growing in Tehran during a revolution. And to make it even better (or worse for you unlucky folks) it's a MEMOIR. A damned good one at that. So I praise you, directors or Umass Lowell, for picking an awesome book. Also, Professor Kramer, who is highly intelligent and witty. And finally, a thank you to Marjane Satrapi for sharing your story with the world. I loved every minute of it.