Wednesday, 19 September 2012

I want your phone, wanker.

I bothered somebody about a phone and I skimmed over the post. So, I thought he was selling something he wasn't. He responded wryly. I attacked. Here's the log, in order from my initial email to the last. I am in blue text, he is in orange.



Do you still have the phone?
If so, do you have the original box with it?
Also, where in Western Mass are you located?


No I don't have the original box I always throw them out because they're, in no circumstances, useful. I live in Springfield near the Eastfield mall. Please be aware that this phone is not powered by android but it has everything else



thanks for getting back to me and pointing out that it isn't an Android device. I misunderstood the post, I thought you were saying you had the Android one. My mistake. Sorry for bothering you.

Good evening,


Np pal, for future reference I put that detail in my post but in order to see it you have to click on it and open it up.


"I misunderstood the post, I thought you were saying you had the Android one. My mistake."
This is English for I read your post, did a bit of skimming. I apologise.
You seriously did not have to be a donkey about it. The end note there, the part where I blatantly call this MY MISTAKE, as in I take ownership for not paying more attention to the post and wasting your time, that is called owning up to personally being ignorant.
So, for future reference, you're a wanker.


I know you realize d your mistake my friend I meant no disrespect at all. I wasn't certain if you knew or not I was looking at it as a guidance not to be sarcastic. You're apparently very intelligent I'm sorry if I sounded like I was being a donkey.


It's cool. *brofist*


So yeah, I thought it was pretty funny. Do you agree? YOU BETTER.

Thursday, 26 July 2012

I dreamed of a zombie apocalypse.

I dreamed of a zombie apocalypse.
My best friend is such a retard.
He walked down some steps, we were at a city hall, about to get a car, and he picked up some trash: an old newspaper.
I was reloading my gun.
I look up and he is still reading as two zombies approached him. I shouted, I told him to gtfo.
He hesitated. When you hesitate people die. I started shooting. I missed the first one so I started running. I killed the second one as I ran down the steps. Out of bullets, my chest numb with fear, my head pounding as adrenaline pumped through my body.
I reached him as the zombie bit into his forehead. I jumped and let my foot smash full force into the zombies head.
It fell to a muddled clump on the floor. Unaware of the sounds that escaped my recently bitten friend. It wouldn't know the horrors it committed. It wouldn't have cared.
I stared at him, pissed off that he was such an idiot. Was a newspaper worth his life? I would be all alone soon.
"I don't understand how one bite is a one shot kill!" He paced angrily before turning to me for answers. "What happens next?"
So I told him.
"First, you'll black out. Like a coma or some shit. You'll wake up confused and yourself. That's how you'll know you're turning."
He stared at the floor in silence. Soon after I fell asleep. The car was a no go I guess. I woke up confused. Unaware of my surroundings. I jokingly said "That was some potent shit, wasn't it Sam?"
He wasn't there.
I was alone.
I blacked out again and found myself on top of a burning building. There was a billboard, alone, broken, confused. I jumped into it and it gave way, falling down on the city.

I willingly followed it.

Saturday, 28 April 2012

Being my own best friend.

Last night I dreamed of a really weird place. Towards the end there were important things (with Dimitri Martin), and it didn't make sense, but at the same time, it did. There was this girl, her name was Dollface I think. Sounds write. She was AWESOME. But she died. When she did, she didn't die in the usual way, no, she was still able to communicate with us, and there was also a way to bring her back to the living world, which we worked really hard on. She told us

"There's no rush in bringing me back, it isn't going to change the world."

I told her

"It's going to change my world."

Tuesday, 31 January 2012

She's so high, high above me.

Lately, I've been taking photos of random things. I rediscovered the beauty of having a camera in your pocket whenever you need it. It's pretty gratifying, in my opinion. For some reason I keep looking at things at the weirdest time and for some reason I can't resist the urge to pull my phone out and and snap a photo. They come out decent, but that's not what I care about. It's the idea that I can try. Plus, they look cooler in still shots than they do when I try to picture them in my head. I have a decent amount of essays to write, and I'm busy writings for my blog (that people don't read). Go figure.

Friday, 20 January 2012

Drowning Sonnet

Undersea Poem.

All I can really say is things have been very quiet around here. To make up for it I did something a bit difficult for most, I found good music. Have you ever heard of the duo Undersea Poem? Musically, they're laid back feel good tropical sounding hipsters with hidden underplays of therapeutic stringed instruments and drums. Lyrically, they're spraying out simple messages with profound lasting effects that could easily calm a rabid pit bull (it's a dog people!) into laying down and falling asleep. Undersea Poem is that rare feeling you get the first time you ever hear The Beatles (or look into Matt Muers eyes; Superbad reference newbies).

Don't go pirating their songs, go buy them or listen to the tracks on YouTube. Google's got them cheap c:

Friday, 13 January 2012

Bury us alive.

I've gotten over the idea of this blog, because it's totally useless. Today I-

thought I was happy.

And now I'm a crying pansy.

I had something else today, but I just received a text message that changed my life. Again.