Wednesday, 22 June 2011

If there's a God, it hates me.

So I'm pretty sure I have figured out what this God character has decided for me. Don't be offended and please don't be afraid. I'm sure that he (that being how I refer to this omnipotent being) is upset with me. Everything I somehow end up on top and collect things he seems to think it's a great time to take it all away. Everything I get a good number of items to live with they are 'stolen' from me. Our conversations sound a little like this:
Me: Hey God, what's up?
God: Nothing much. Hey is that the new Bethesda game?
Me: Sure is!
God: And is it Game of the Year Edition?
Me: Yeah! I just bought it on
God: And what system do you play that on?
Me: A playstation three, obvi! ;)
God: Don't you need, like, a nice HD telly in order to fully enjoy your game system?
Me: Of course silly! I got a Vizio flat screen telly.
God: And what is all of that stuff?
*He gestures to all my stuff*
Me: My personal belongings I've obtained this year.
God: What the heck dude? Noooooo! Stop collecting stuff.
*He now turns into Oprah Winfrey*
God: Everybody gets tornadoes! You get a tornado, you get a tornado!
*A tornado then decimates my house and God turns back into his regular omnipotent self*
God: Take that, you are not worthy! You don't get nice things. You don't deserve it.
Me: What the heck God?
And so goes the story of my life. Collect items. Get safe and comfy with my life. Fall in love. Watch everything get destroyed by some "disaster" that I have no control over. Then complain about it.

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